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EDM Challenge #70: FEAR

 I made a special trip to our Manhattan Dick Blick store to buy the new Moleskine watercolor notebook before going to Washington DC to see my son's new row house.  I had every intention of using this new watercolor journal for all of my sketches over the Memorial Day weekend, but instead returned home with 8 new full pages in my Aquabee Globetrotter spiral sketchbook (70 lb paper). 
What is this all about?  I think Julia Cameron's phrase FEAR BEFORE ACTION captures my problem best.  It is difficult for me to get beyond perfectionism (not that I am perfect in any dimension) which means that in my warped thinking the new notebook is special and "should be saved for special pictures."  I know this is crazy childhood thinking, admonitions from the many adults in my life.  But it really does interfere with my freedom to just sketch and have a good time painting my sketches however I want!
I never have that feeling as I begin page after page, everyday, in Volume 7 of my spiral sketchbook - and I'm afraid that the Moleskine watercolor journal will join 3 other unused watercolor journals on my shelf.  HELP!


NICELY NICELY DONE!!!! I've settled on a 100# sprial bound Raffine sketchbook that I LOVE!! It can handle a good amount of wc and doesn't smear pencil ... LOVE IT! and it comes in 48 pages so I can have my 'thick' book too!

Oh Shirley, you got it right, and there are a LOT of us relating to you! Great drawing, and imaginative use of the challenge.

I know what you mean about saving things for best. When my mother died, I found so many things she had never used, but had saved for best...and she taught me that trait. I love your painting of your fear...did you paint it in moleskine? It is very good.

Boy! I can relate to that fear!!! I use my spiral bound sketch book for everything! I have done a couple of paintings in my other books but for some reason won't touch my canvases! Afraid I'll muss 'em up! I guess some how I think just plain white looks better than anything I can do *HA-HA*

I had to wait for mine to come in the post all the way from the US to Australia so it seemed very special ... we have waited so long on a promise. To get over the first page jitters, I chose something simple that I knew I could achieve. It's all down hill from there.

I can totaly relate to that fear......

Yes! We do all relate to this, we all feel that fear every time, no matter what success preceeded it, no matter how much experience we garner, no matter what tricks we try. I tell people who are surprised to hear this that I can never FEEL creative ablility in me. I just feel normal, so I fear I can't do it. I only feel creative after its done and finished - if I like looking at whatever it is I have done. Love your journal pages!

You are not alone! My watercolour moleskine still sits (untouched) on the edge of my desk collection dust. Let us know when you dive in!

sorry for second comment. the first one had my incorrect url!

Hi Shirley, as with most of the comments here I too can relate. i just stick the pages together on my moleskine if i hate the page toooo much. I have only had to do it twice and I am hoping that is all as i will be needing a new one in no time!! Great challenge drawing.

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